Some things to keep in mind during autism "awareness" month.
Ah April, the true cruelest month, at least if you are autistic or sympathetic towards autistics and what we really think. "Autism Awareness Month", they call it. Awareness of what? It seems more and more to be awareness that many parents feel cheated because they didn't get the typical or supertypical child they feel they so richly deserved, a month of awareness of how the PARENTS feel they suffer, a month of awareness of all the things they are putting the child through to put themselves out of their misery. Quackery awareness month, even, but of course no one will come out and call a spade an effing shovel because autistic people don't count in this society. That's right, it's a f*ing shovel.
With that in mind in this vomitous puzzle piece bedecked month, here are some things to keep in mind if you intend to "do something for awareness" or are bombarded by people who are (or are asking you why you aren't):
1. "Awareness" is not the same thing as information. I can get 10,000 people to wear a puzzle ribbon pretty easily but that doesn't mean they know a blessed thing about autism. "Awareness" is crap.
2. "Awareness" is a vague goal, in addition to being crap. Awareness of what? Awareness of what autism IS? No, no one exactly knows and that's too much like information. Awareness that adults need services too? No, we don't look cute on their posters. Awareness that autism is more than just people smearing shit and banging their heads? No, that makes us sound too much like people. Awareness that many parents think that ohnoesvaxxeenzeetbabeez and they need to follow their GooglePhD protocol to rescue them and need YOUR MONEY to do it? That particular faction shouts the loudest. Note how few autistic people are served by "awareness".
3. Please be AWARE that autistic people are just that, PEOPLE. We don't need the dehumanization that nearly invariably comes with the "human interest" stories. Even if we don't talk, we can hear and pick up on the attitude that exudes from these pieces.
4. Please also be AWARE that we are AWARE of autism year round, and thus don't necessarily feel the need to do more than we do every day-namely, being ourselves. Conversely, if other people happen to notice us being ourselves more during April, that isn't necessarily us "acting out", but so called awareness making people more aware or self conscious or whatever. The rest of the world can suck it up and deal.
5. Consider that we may not want to read every article on autism, go to every (or even ANY) autism event, or watch every program. See dehumanizing, above. This holds especially true for anti cure folks and those of us who have more than had our fill of the dehumanizing vomitous pity party garbage.
6. Be AWARE of not just the "valiant struggling parents", but also the children and adults who are doing well, the ones who aren't doing well, and the ones who are doing what THEY consider well and are happy.
7. Be especially AWARE of the autistics who's parents, caregivers, and others bought into their own self pity and have done terrible, often irreversible things to them. NEVER EVER forget those who are no longer with us, for the crime of being autistic.
I really hate Autism Awareness Month. For my part, I will be being myself and perhaps breaking out a couple of my more pointed neurodiversity shirts. That's about it. I don't do big bursts of awareness.
With that in mind in this vomitous puzzle piece bedecked month, here are some things to keep in mind if you intend to "do something for awareness" or are bombarded by people who are (or are asking you why you aren't):
1. "Awareness" is not the same thing as information. I can get 10,000 people to wear a puzzle ribbon pretty easily but that doesn't mean they know a blessed thing about autism. "Awareness" is crap.
2. "Awareness" is a vague goal, in addition to being crap. Awareness of what? Awareness of what autism IS? No, no one exactly knows and that's too much like information. Awareness that adults need services too? No, we don't look cute on their posters. Awareness that autism is more than just people smearing shit and banging their heads? No, that makes us sound too much like people. Awareness that many parents think that ohnoesvaxxeenzeetbabeez and they need to follow their GooglePhD protocol to rescue them and need YOUR MONEY to do it? That particular faction shouts the loudest. Note how few autistic people are served by "awareness".
3. Please be AWARE that autistic people are just that, PEOPLE. We don't need the dehumanization that nearly invariably comes with the "human interest" stories. Even if we don't talk, we can hear and pick up on the attitude that exudes from these pieces.
4. Please also be AWARE that we are AWARE of autism year round, and thus don't necessarily feel the need to do more than we do every day-namely, being ourselves. Conversely, if other people happen to notice us being ourselves more during April, that isn't necessarily us "acting out", but so called awareness making people more aware or self conscious or whatever. The rest of the world can suck it up and deal.
5. Consider that we may not want to read every article on autism, go to every (or even ANY) autism event, or watch every program. See dehumanizing, above. This holds especially true for anti cure folks and those of us who have more than had our fill of the dehumanizing vomitous pity party garbage.
6. Be AWARE of not just the "valiant struggling parents", but also the children and adults who are doing well, the ones who aren't doing well, and the ones who are doing what THEY consider well and are happy.
7. Be especially AWARE of the autistics who's parents, caregivers, and others bought into their own self pity and have done terrible, often irreversible things to them. NEVER EVER forget those who are no longer with us, for the crime of being autistic.
I really hate Autism Awareness Month. For my part, I will be being myself and perhaps breaking out a couple of my more pointed neurodiversity shirts. That's about it. I don't do big bursts of awareness.
posted by Kassiane at 3:52 PM
8 Comments:
Very good post. It really has me thinking. I have not decided what to do with this month. I guess I will just go on posting as normal. I would love it if you read my last two posts on the Autism:The Musical film. I would like to know your take on it.
"Q.E.D."
;-)
Good stuff. I particularly like your use of the word 'vomitous'!
I think this might be more of a US thing. I have not noticed any extra coverage of autism stories in the British or Irish press.
Thank you.
As a parent I try and keep these points in mind. I dont always get it right, but i do try.
i love this.
perhaps i am getting it wrong. but my version of awareness is to talk about how there is no such thing as ONE autism, ONE aspergers. it's a bit like saying, it's People Awareness Month! how does it feel to be a person? what should we say to parents when they've just given birth to a person? is it devastating? or is this person a total super duper GIFT? in fact, i was going to type this up and send it to CNN to post on their site. but the thing is, many people have distorted notions of autism. and i don't have the ONE answer but i can speak honestly about what i see, what i think, and how it is in one household from an NT parent's point of view who tries her best to open up to her son's perspective, to honor that.
now, i don't mean to be coy. i write a blog about our life. i used to feel that i had to help him overcome his aspergers. i've changed over the years and i'm glad. i have more changing to do.
i do, however, look for ways to teach him. that's my job as his parent and homeschool teacher, to find ways to guide and direct, as much as anyone is able or ought to for their child. i hope it's respectful. i hope it leaves room for him to become more and more of himself and not who i think he's supposed to be.
I admire your spunk K. keep it up!
Thanks for your post! I lose a lot of sleep during Autism Awareness Month because of all the people telling me that I should feel really sad about who my son is, what I didn't do, what I should do, etc. If society would just accept us for who we are and quit treating him like crap, I would feel blissfully happy... he already is generally a happy person (except for when he hits and bites himself... so that's sad)! I feel really stressed out because Noah isn't talking, eating by mouth, using the toilet, and because he's basically getting kicked out of school. But when we went on vacation a few weeks ago... when it was just our family, it was GREAT! It's always when we try to approach society and take our place in it, that trouble arises.
I hate Autism Awareness Month because it's a guilt ridden, fear laden, bank emptying, joy sucking month. I'd rather have Autism Celebration Month, or I think my kid is AWESOME month, or what the hell's the matter with society month, or Ability Discrimination Awareness Month. In fact, I think we need an ADAM month.
Anyway, thanks... have a great April... just don't look on CNN.COM!
Well said, good words to keep in mind. Thank you!
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